Monday, November 25, 2002

SPRING 3100

The department�s magazine, SPRING 3100, began printing in March 1930.

It was conceived and born during the height of the depression. Over 200 members of the department submitted names for the magazine. A reward of $25 was given for the one selected by Commissioner Grover Whalen. Twelve men submitted SPRING 3100, and they shared in the $25 prize.

The name was the telephone number used by the public to call police headquarters. The Spring 7 exchange was not yet in use.

The magazine continued running until May 1971, when it ceased publication, as a budgetary constraint. It was not until February 1972 that the magazine was re-born. After its eight month absence, the magazine returned with a new, larger size format.

The newer version of SPRING 3100, along with its new look, had a new price as well. The full years subscription was $4.80, payable by the member wishing to receive it, and it was sent directly to the home.



GHOSTS OF THE PAST: FORMER POLICE STATION HOUSES

One hundred years ago, (1902), there were a total of 30 NYPD police station houses within the Borough of Manhattan. All had been built in the 19th Century. 20 of these buildings have been closed and demolished.

Today, only ten of the 19th Century station house buildings still exist. Two are still active NYPD station houses, the 5th Pct. at 19 Elizabeth Street and the 19th Pct. at 153 East 67th Street. While none of the other eight buildings are still station houses, they have been put to other uses.

Do you know where these former station houses are located, and what is their present day use?

Well, Ret. Det1 John Reilly knows! He know the answers, and wants to know who else does.

You can send in your answers within the next 30 days, direct to John at his e-mail address noted below. Is there a prize for the correct answers? No, but you will have the satisfaction of doing some department historical research yourself.

Clues: one building is located below Canal Street;
three between Canal Street and 14th Street;
two between 14th Street and 42nd Street;
two above 100th Street.

You can discount the Arsenal building in Central Park, as this was a Parks Department building. Also, the old 3rd Pct. S.H. at 160 Chambers Street, because that was no longer a S.H in 1902.

Any answers or questions may be sent to John Reilly, Email:
jtmr71@davtv.com.

John notes also that he is always interested in photos of old station houses, even if there is no identification of the building, as very often he can identify them.

Who will be the first to identify these �Ghosts of the Past�?


INTERESTING WEB SITE

ad-aware 5

This is an excellent program,it gets rid of hidden files in your computer that the marketing people from the internet put on there to watch what you are doing.

Get it from:

http://www.lavasoftusa.com/


INTERNET CRIME TO INCREASE RADICALLY

FBI Director Robert Mueller says that cybercrimes will only be overshadowed by terrorism and counterintelligence crimes in coming months. The FBI director is calling for more cooperation between public and private organizations to fight crimes through the Internet.

More information can be found at:
http://webpublisher.lexisnexis.com/index.asp?layout=story&gid=1610000961&did=476J-34S0-00RC-50PP-00000-00&cid=220004422


DETECTIVE BUREAU RELEASES COMPUTER GUIDE

The Detective Bureau has recently released the �Guide to Computer Investigative Aids�.

This is an excellent guide to all of the databases available, including those accessed through third-party i.e. HIDTA, FBI, etc.

A copy of this 15 page guide has been forwarded to every Detective command. If your command did not receive one, contact the Detective Bureau Training Unit.

In the coming weeks I will excerpt important information from this guidebook.


IMPORTANT DATES IN POLICE HISTORY

April 1631
Boston establishes first system of law enforcement in America called the "night watch." Officers served part-time, without pay.

1712
First full-time, paid law enforcement officers hired in the United States by the City of Boston.

September 24, 1789
Congress creates the first Federal law enforcement officer, the United States Marshal.

May 17, 1792
First officer in United States history, Deputy Sheriff Isaac Smith, New York City, is killed in the line of duty.


FROM THE LAW LIBRARY

Judge Says Needle Exchange Arrests in N.Y. Must Stop
New York Law Journal

A federal judge has ordered the New York City police to stop arresting and charging drug users who participate in state-sanctioned hypodermic needle exchange programs. Wednesday's ruling granted a declaratory judgment in favor of plaintiffs who alleged police were wrongly charging users with drug possession based on the residue of drugs found in used needles, and with illegal possession of needles and syringes.

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1036630464088


QUOTABLE-QUOTES

"A man always has two reasons for doing anything -- a good reason and the real reason."

-- J.P. Morgan



Friday, November 15, 2002

ESTABLISHING THE DETECTIVE BUREAU

On May 25, 1882, the NYPD�s Detective Bureau was created by an Act of the state legislature. On May 8, 1883, the NYC Board of Police created a Central Detective Bureau.

The Board of Police established that all officers that were currently performing detective duty in district offices, precincts, or squads be transferred to the Detective Bureau at Police Headquarters.

The officer in charge of that Bureau (no rank specified) would have the ability to assign for detective duty �as may, in his judgment, be deemed essential to the efficiency of this branch of the Department�.

When the Detective Bureau was established there were two grades of Detectives.

The grades were known as Detective Sergeants and Detective Officers.

�All promotions to the rank of Detective Officer shall be from the rank of Roundsman or Patrolman, and to the rank of Detective Sergeant shall be from the rank of Detective Officer�.

Somewhat surprising to see, but the Detective Sergeant was required to be a Detective first.

It further stated that �meritorious service rendered the Department, and the capability of the Detective Officer, shall be the only grounds upon which promotions shall be made to the rank of Detective Sergeant�. The pay of a Detective Sergeant was set at $1,600.00.

It was left to the Chief of the Bureau of Detectives to select a pattern or form of shield for the use of Detective Officers of the Police Department, and to report this to the Board of Police for adoption and use.


PTL. JOHN NULET, KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY: NOVEMBER 1864

On Nov. 7, 1864 Ptl. John Nulet, of the 29th Pct. Metropolitan P.D., was killed in the line of duty.

At about 3.00am Nov. 7, 1864, Ptl. Nulet was taking to the station house, a man he had arrested for disorderly conduct, for having tried to force his way into a house of prostitution at 27 West 24th Street.

When at 29th St. & 5th Ave. the prisoner produced a pistol and shot Ptl. Nulet in the head. Ptl. Nulet fell to the sidewalk mortally wounded. Ptl. Raskin of the same precinct, upon hearing the shot, responded to the scene, saw the murderer fleeing and gave chase. He was soon out of sight, though, and escaped.

Ptl. Nulet was taken to the station house but died there soon after. Ptl. Nulet was 27 years of age, married with two children.

Note: in 1864 the 29th Pct. station house was located at 34 East 29th Street in a leased building.


NYPD MEMORIAL CO0RRECTIONS

Now a few corrections & updates to the NYPD Memorial, as recently posted to this site. It should be noted that this information is gathered from the official web-site of the NYPD, and listed under the NYPD Memorial pages on that site. The following corrections should be made.


Nov. 3, 1931 Ptl. Thomas Madigan: Correct rank is Sergeant.

Nov. 8, 1930 Ptl. Charles Weidig He was not shot during the commission of
a burglary, rather was shot when he walked into a stickup taking place in a store
at 160 Lenox Ave, Manhattan. During an exchange of shots he was killed.


INTERESTING WEB SITE

DAILY NEWS PHOTOS:
Here�s a great site from the DAILY NEWS, with a section on �New York NOIR� that includes some really great crime scene photos. Don�t try to copy them, though � you can�t. If you want a copy of the photo you have to order it from the Daily News � at $35. a pop!

http://www.dailynewspix.com/


HEARD AROUND THE SQUAD�

News and notes from Retired Chief Frank Biehler.

IN MEMORIAM:
Detective SALVATORE CAFISO (33), SI Narcotics, with eight years On-The-Job, while engaged in an anti-narcotics operation on Staten Island, on October 24th 2002, became faint and passed out. He was rushed to St. Vincent's Medical Center (West Brighton), but the Detective went into cardiac arrest and efforts to revive him were unsuccessful. A "Full Inspector's Funeral" was held on October 28th 2002. The Detective is survived by his wife, Kathleen, and six-week-old daughter, Alyssa.

IT'S LIFE AND IT'S RIGHT: Alex Restrepo (28) got Life for the murder of retired Detective DONALD PAGANI (69) during a Bronx robbery in 1999. The retired Detective was acting as a payroll courier when he was set upon and murdered. Restrepo and other members of the robbery gang fled to Colombia, but they were found and Extradited back to the U.S for trial. ..... VICE GALORE: Vice Enforcement (the old "PMD") will hold its Retirement/Holiday party on Thursday, December 19th, at Astoria Manor. Call Vice at 646-610-6690 for the $75 ticket. ..... TRIBUTE: Fourteen years after P.O. MICHAEL BUCZEK was murdered, the Officer was remembered by the renaming of the intersection of West 170 Street and Amsterdam Avenue, to "Officer Michael Buczek Avenue." .....


Monday, November 11, 2002

HAWAII FIVE-O

Hawaii Five-O aired from September 1968 to April 1980. Up until recently, it was the longest continuous-running police series in U.S. television history.
With few exceptions, it was filmed entirely on location in Hawaii. Its fans list the authenticity and beauty of the scenery as its number one draw; second come the actors and the characters they portrayed.
Jack Lord played Steve McGarrett, head of an elite state police unit investigating "organized crime, murder, assassination attempts, foreign agents, felonies of every type." James MacArthur played his second-in-command Danny ("Danno") Williams, with local actors Kam Fong, Zulu, Al Harrington, and Herman Wedemeyer, among others, playing members of the Five-O team.
Although the men of Hawaii Five-O were based in the Iolani Palace in downtown Honolulu, they were not members of the Honolulu Police Department. They worked as part of the Hawaiian State Police and were accountable directly to Governor Philip Grey.

Actually, Hawaii does not and never did have a state police force.

Steve McGarrett was the head of the Five-O and worked with his own men and the local police in solving crimes and fighting the organized groups of the Hawaiian underworld.

The most hated man on any of the islands was the criminal genius Wo Fat. He would pop up every now-and-then to make life difficult for McGarrett, who was determined to put him in prison. Although he did manage to interfere with Wo Fat's illegal activities, he could never get enough evidence to put him away for good.

Near the end of it's run, on April 5, 1980, McGarrett's toughest rival was finally brought to justice. Disguised as a scientist, McGarrett sprung a trap that sent Wo Fat - seen for the first time in five years - to jail.

Jack Lord, who played McGarrett, died in Honolulu on January 21, 1998 of congestive heart failure.



INTERESTING WEB SITE

If you happen to watch �The Soprano�s� on HBO you may have seen a mug shot hanging up behind Tony Soprano in his office of what appears to be a very young Frank Sinatra.

Well, it is Frank Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra was arrested by the Bergen County, New Jersey sheriff in 1938 and charged with carrying on with a married woman (yes, you could get popped for that back then). The charge was later changed to adultery, and eventually dismissed.

You can view this, and many other celebrity mug shots, at The Smoking Gun web site.

www.thesmokinggun.com



FROM THE LEGAL DESK

Gideon v. Wainwright, 1963 Supreme Court Decision

The GIDEON decision, handed down by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1963, established the right to counsel when on trial, accused of a crime.

Justice Black wrote the opinion of the Court. �The right of one charged with crime to counsel may not be deemed fundamental and essential to fair trials in some countries�, he wrote, �but it is in ours�.

It is the �Gideon� decision that gives one the right to an attorney.



FROM THE DETECTIVE�S HUMIDOR

Restoring Dry Cigars:

You discover a box of your favorite cigars that you left in a closet for six months, and the cigars are as dry as a bone. What do you do?

First, have patience. Put the cigars in a humidor that hasn't been charged in the previous week. Let them rest in the slightly dry humidor for a few days so the cigars absorb some humidity. Then, partially fill the humidification system, letting the cigars rest for another week before fully charging the humidity regulator. This process will ensure a slow absorption of moisture, preventing the cigars from getting too much humidity too soon. If you shock the cigars from too much moisture, they may burst.

If you have a cabinet-style humidor, first place the cigars as far from the humidification device as possible, moving them closer to the humidification device little by little over a period of six weeks.

In any case, do not light up until the cigars are supple to the touch. A dry cigar will burn too hotly, and the flavor will seem burned or carbonized.

The same principle applies to cold cigars or ones that have been stored frozen, a method some people use. (There's nothing wrong with this method except that the cigars don't age.) You must allow the cigars to return to normal temperature slowly. If you light them too soon, the abrupt change in temperature may cause them to crack open or explode. Give chilled cigars at least two or three days at the proper temperature in a humidified environment before lighting them up.

(Reprinted from CIGAR AFFICIONADO).




YOU CAN�T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.


�LEST WE FORGET�� The NYPD Memorial

Nov 10, 1919 Ptl John McCormack, 38 Pct, Shot-domestic dispute
Nov 11, 1989 PO Gary Coe, BSTF, Stabbed-off duty
Nov 11, 1992 PO Milagros Johnson, 109 Pct, Shot-off duty robbery
Nov 12, 1922 Ptl Charles Hoffman, 3 Pct, LOD accident
Nov 12, 1986 PO Kenton Britt, Hwy3, Auto accident on patrol
Nov 13, 1968 Ptl Joseph Pignataro, 46 Pct, Auto accident on patrol
Nov 13, 1989 Det Richard Guerzon, QDAS, Shot by prisoner*
Note: On Nov 23, 1989, Det Keith Williams QDAS succumbed to his wounds received during this same incident.

Friday, November 08, 2002

MORE ON THE NAKED CITY

Following a recent posting to this site on the television hit-series �Naked City�, Ret. Det1 John Reilly had the following information to add.

The T.V series �The Naked City� was a follow up to the 1948 movie �The Naked City� which was filmed on the streets of Manhattan. Parts of this film were filmed in the 7th Precinct and the final chase scene was filmed on the Williamsburg Bridge.

In the T.V. series it was decided to replace Lt. Muldoon, played by John McIntire. This was done in the 25th show of the series, �The Bumper.� Lt. Muldoon and his partner were driving a material witness to jail, when a hit man known as �The Bumper� crashes his car into the detective�s car forcing it into an oil truck. In the explosion Lt. Muldoon is burned to death.

The location used for the filming of this scene was at West 135th Street and 12th Ave., in the then 30th Precinct. The location was in Sector 3, John Reilly�s sector. This took place under the West Side Highway. Nearby, also on West 135th Street was the station house of the Old 26th Pct. This station house was abolished and closed April 26, 1954. At the end of the filming Lt. Muldoon was to be carried away in a body bag, but of course the star John McIntire was not required to get into a body bag. Rather an extra was used, who when told to get into the bag by a fireman, remarked that it did not look too clean, the fireman replied �Get in, the last stiff in the bag, had no complaints.�

There are eight million stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them.


DEPARTMENT FORMS

A while back, while still on the search for the DD1, I noted in an off-handed manner in this column that I thought it was unusual for the police department to get to form number 61 (UF61 Complaint Report) before they created the crime complaint form.

This was addressed, in a more serious manner, by noted department historian Ret. Det1 John Reilly.

He noted, quite correctly, that before a crime can be reported there must be personnel to receive and record the report. So the very first forms that must be created are personnel record forms.

While the 1913 M of P UF forms are not readily available, it is noted that the first UF forms were all personnel related.

UF 1 is believed to have been an application form. UF 7 or 9 was the appointment certificate. We still utilize what was then � and still is now � the UF10, or the individual personnel record form.


ADVANCES IN POLICE RMP�S

It was mentioned in a recent posting to this column that the police cars in 1973 were not air-conditioned.

Many retirees I�ve spoken with, including The Minister�s father, can remember riding in an RMP car on hot summer days in the 1950s and by the end of tour finding your uniform was soaking wet.

It should also be noted that until about 1958 or so, if you were the operator of an RMP you drove for the entire 8 hours. There was no change of position after four hours. The vehicles were all stick shift, and after an eight hour tour your legs were quite from the shifting of gears all day.

That didn�t mean you had a break in the winter time! Quite the opposite!

Not only were there no air conditioning, but for a great number of years the RMP�s did not come with a heater!

It was standard practice by the RMP crew in the wintertime to put a horse blanket over their legs to keep warm. Later the entire crew assigned to a car would chip in to buy and have a heater installed in the car.

Into the 1950s there was no back seat in a RMP car. The seat had been removed and on the floor were two large metal boxes that housed the radios. All the cars had only two doors so if you wanted to take a prisoner into the car he had to climb over the front seat-retaining bar and then sit on a radio box.

The December 1972 issue of SPRING 3100 notes some job improvements, outlined by the Police Commissioner, Patrick Murphy. It was noted that bids on vehicles featuring �power steering, power brakes � and last but not least, air conditioning�. It was further noted that only a limited number would be equipped with air conditioning but that �it is hoped they will be like the first blossoms on the tree�.


INTERESTING WEB SITE

Here�s a site where you can access photos, tax assessments, and plans for structures in Nassau County. Do you own a house in Nassau County? Check out your assessment, floor plans and see a recent photo of your house. Guess what? You can check out ANY address you�d like, and it�s there! How do you like that??

Go to: WWW.MY NASSAU PROPERTY.COM


YOU CAN�T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

A male walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.


REMEMBER� TO CONTACT THE MINISTER OF INVESTIGATION

Send an e-mail to: Ltjac77@yahoo.com


�LEST WE FORGET�� The NYPD Memorial

November 3, 1892 Det John Carey, Central Office Sqd, Shot,Arrest
November 3, 1931 Ptl Thomas Madigan, 30 Pct, Auto accident on patrol
November 4, 1966 Ptl Anthony Campisi, 1 Div, Stabbed-investigation
November 5, 1924 Ptl John Honahan, McyDist, Auto accident on patrol
November 5, 1928 Ptl Henry Behnstedt, TrafficDiv, Auto accident on patrol
November 6, 1978 PO Horace Ford, SCU, Shot-robbery, off duty
November 7, 1864 Ptl John Nulet, No info available
November 7, 1937 Det Arthur DeMarrais, 88 Sqd, Injured: Assault
November 8, 1930 Ptl Charles Weidig, 28 Pct, Shot-burglary
November 8, 1937 Ptl George Pierson, GrandCentralPkwyPct, motorcycle accident
November 8, 1955 Ptl John Albanesi, 60 Pct, Off duty LOD heart attack
November 9, 1970 Sgt Henry Tustin, 32 Pct, shot-robbery


PO HORACE FORD: Killed in the line of duty 11/6/78

P.O. Horace Ford Sh 3187, SCU, was off duty and working as a teller in a bank, when an armed robber jumped the counter near a teller. Officer Ford challenged the gunman to protect the teller and others present in the bank. The gunman emptied his weapon at Officer Ford, hitting him in the upper chest. The officer, though mortally wounded, returned fire and killed the gunman.

P.O. Ford was appointed to the NYPD on March 28, 1966. On June 12,
1979, at the annual NYPD medal day ceremonies, P.O. Horace Ford was posthumously awarded the NYPD Medal of Honor.

Thursday, November 07, 2002

CONDOLENCES

It is with much sadness to the Brooklyn North community that the death of JOHN M. CUNNEEN, the BROTHER of Chief Joseph F.X. Cunneen, is announced.

Wake: McManus Funeral Home, 4601 Ave N, Brooklyn
Friday 11/8: 2-5; 7-9

Funeral: St Francis DeSalles Church, B129 St / Rockaway Beach Blvd
Saturday 11/9, 12 Noon

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that a donation be made to:

Rockaway Little League
C/O Marty Andresen
431 Beach 124 St
Bell Harbor, NY 11697

Monday, November 04, 2002

DETECTIVE�S CRIME CLINIC

The NY/NJ Detectives Crime Clinic is a non-profit organization made up of police chiefs, police officers, detectives, investigators, from both the private and public sectors, with an interest in the prevention, apprehension and prosecution of crime and criminals.

The Crime Clinic was informally founded around 1942 by police officers from the states of Connecticut, New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Each month the members would join together in order to assist each other and their respective department�s in the apprehension of criminals from their area.

During the Awards Meetings they would honor the selected individuals, and discuss ongoing cases of importance.

In 1949 the organization was incorporated in New Jersey as that is where the majority of the Trustees at that time resided.

The primary function of the organization remains to recognize worthy actions by police officers. They alternate their awards dinner and luncheon meetings between New York and New Jersey.

If you are interested in learning more, you can check out their web site at:

www.NJNYDCC.org

You can also contact the Detectives Crime Clinic at (718) 239-9345.


77 SUNSET STRIP

A very popular private-eye television show that aired from October 1958 to September 1964 was 77 SUNSET STRIP.

This one hour show was referred to as �the Mack-daddy of the late fifties detective shows, the one that started the young, cool private detective craze of the early sixties�.

The premise of the show concerned Stu Bailey, former CIA-OSS officer and his partner Jeff Spencer, a former undercover police officer, as the swinging, martini-clutching private eyes that worked out of their office at 77 Sunset Boulevard in LA.

They drove brand new sports cars � of course � and shared a driveway with the swinging nightspot Dino�s, that always managed to become a hangout and chick-magnet for the pair.

"The thing I liked about this show were the snub nose 38s and the shoulder holsters that they really display rather prominently whenever Jeff's and Stu's sportcoats were off." Another viewer notes "and the other thing I liked about the show was the '60s style Thunderbird. A really sharp car."
This show was the first hour-long private eye show, and became one of the most influential private eye show � setting the tone for the others that followed.

Hard broiled drama was out, and gimmicks were in, as the show included a racetrack tout named Roscoe and a hair-combing Dino�s parking lot attendant and beatnik PI wanna-be named Kookie.

Incidentally, the star of the show who played Stuart Bailey was none other than Efrem Zimbalist Jr, the same actor who later starred in the TV show �The FBI� as Inspector Erskine.



INTERESTING WEB SITES

Here�s an interesting site that�s certainly worth bookmarking, especially for the student-detective (or the parent of a student!).

This site, the CIA World Fact Book, provides concise yet very informative information on every country in the world. Info such as the geography, government, etc. � just those facts that you may want to have at your fingertips for a term paper, or other school project. Check it out!

http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook

It should also be noted that the Factbook is in the public domain. Accordingly, it may be copied freely without permission of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).



EMPLOYEE THEFT UP

And that doesn't even count the CEO!

Security consultant and sometime SECURITY Magazine author John Case pegs losses from employee theft at between $25 billion and $52 billion a year. He believes that employees often become lax about security procedures in a downsizing environment when fewer employees must do the same or more work. A significant amount of theft losses are in the retail sector - still even those recent numbers show that employees can cost a business more than a shoplifter.

The average loss per incident of employee theft: $1446; the average loss per incident of shoplifter theft: $196.


YOU CAN�T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.



WHO SAID WE�RE A LITIGIOUS SOCIETY?


In November 2000 Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home.

On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.

Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.

(Winnebago actually changed their handbooks on the back of this court
case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their
vehicles.)